After George Harrison died I had read that he was completely ready to leave his body and be with his Lord. Since then, every time I listen to him singing "My Sweet Lord" I can hear that longing in his voice.
I received Shaktipat initiation into my Yoga lineage nearly seven years ago, and since then I have had a growing urge to merge with the Source. And since Yoga's roots come from Hinduism, we hold a belief that there is a cycle of life and death until the soul completes its earthly, karmic work. For the last several years I have been feeling like I am completely done with my work here. It's kind of like "Senior Stretch"; that itching seniors in high school get right before graduation. Most days I feel like I'm done learning and have absolutely no inclination to come back and do this whole human thing ever, ever again.
In fact, my best friend Tink texted me last week that she was excited to have found a tv show about the Mayan 2012 prophecy. (She feels like graduating from human school, too.) As she was watching she was texting me updates on what she was learning. When the show started to explain that the Mayans felt like 2012 was a "time of transformation" thereby equalling the end of current times and not neccessarily THE end of time, she was disappointed. I texted her back, "Crap. This can't be good for either of us." Hey, you gotta have a sense of humor... It's not like we want to check out today; it's just so tiring being human some days.
I had lunch with a friend of mine a couple of years ago and we were talking about death. When I told him that I wasn't afraid of death, it was dying that scared the hell outta me, I basically had to pick his jaw up off of the floor. I think most people are scared shitless of death. For me it's the pain and suffering that scares me.
My mother tells me that my father prayed for only one thing for himself his entire life and that was for a quick and painless death. God granted him this blessing. My father was my first spiritual teacher so to know this about him has given me peace and I, too, pray for the same thing.
I know all of this probably sounds so morbid but my recent preoccupation with moving on actually keeps me grounded, no pun intended. It keeps me clear on what I am doing on this planet each day and helps me to try to make the most of it. Making each moment count is probably the most important lesson of Yoga. Pondering coming back in another body helps me to make better choices, accept and learn from life lessons, and live in integrity and light. I am serious about not wanting to come back in another body so in order to avoid that I want to do it right this time.
Twice during my advanced Yoga teacher training I had out of body experiences. These were the most amazing experiences I have ever had. The second of the two was so profound that I felt that I was actually done and leaving. I was not scared. I had complete divine assurance that my children would be okay if I did leave my body. The thing that scared me was the fact that I wasn't scared. That little thread of consciousness was the only thing tying my pranamayakosha (energy body) to my manomayakosha (physical body). I was in the sweetest state of bliss. That sweetness still lingers in my mouth and it is that nectar that I want to drink for eternity.
So when my number is up, I pray that it is painless and with Grace. I pray that I have completed my tasks assigned to this body. And I pray that my soul is merged into the Universal Source of Light for all of eternity. As you move through your days, cherish your moments. As my favorite singer, Jimmy Buffett, sings "Whether 24 hours or 80 good years, it's not that long of a stay."